Strands of Fate
by riverofwords
Summary: Cal and Gillian meet in an unexpected place. Takes place before the creation of The Lightman Group and explores how Cal and Gillian came to be friends and partners. No spoilers that I know of and no adult themes. Chose T to be safe. Now a multi-chapter AU. Updated 09/09/2012
1. Ch 1: Strands of Fate

AN: The idea for this came to me in the form of a lyric from the Faron Young song _Hello Walls_. The line is:

"Well look here is that a teardrop in the corner of your pane, Now don't you try to tell me that it's rain."

When I heard it, I thought it was pain and the line intrigued me. I looked it up and realized I took the meaning wrong, but I couldn't get my take on it out of my head. I had a vision of Cal in a cemetery with glasses dark enough to hide his eyes, sort of like Cyclops in X-men (I know, this all incredibly geeky). Then I thought of what circumstances would put Gillian crying in the rain and the rest is history.

I've done a few small corrections and modifications to this chapter. Originally a stand alone fic, it is now a multi chapter endeavor, probably 3-5 chapters in total.

Disclaimer: Don't own Lie to Me, but hoping for a season 4! Well I was until they cancelled my favorite show.

_,,,_^..^_,,,_

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Ch 1: Strands of Fate

Today would be a typical British summer's day if it weren't so warm and sunny. The rain was steadily coming down from the sky and the earth seemed to be drinking it in gladly. All the grass looked greener and the plants more colorful as he surveyed the landscape. There were majestic trees sparsely dotted across the hills, shading the surrounding areas as the sun traveled across the sky. There were forms of granite in noble lines standing guard over their charges buried deep within the soil. Given the condition of most of the markers, he thought the cemetery very old. He noticed what seemed to be gaps in the lines, like missing teeth, where modest markers were simply placed level with the ground. Some of them had a small vase of flowers or flags adorning them. He was struck by the tranquility of the place and wondered why it had been used as a cemetery instead of a park.

"We are gathered here today..."

Cal Lightman shifted on his feet as the service began. He stood outside of the area covered by the small tent and while most people would assume that he was chivalrous for leaving a seat open, it was purely selfish on his part. Cal hated funerals and would much rather stand in the rain removed from the grieving mass and the cacophony of sobs, sniffles and whispering against the drone of the priest conducting the service. Out here, the sounds of grief were muted by the breeze rustling through the branches, the rain falling and the distant roar of cars on the highway.

Cal moved back a bit farther and leaned his shoulder against a tree. The rainfall was no longer rhythmic where he stood, but it was just far enough away where he couldn't make out the words of the priest any longer. He knew what the priest would say. It hadn't changed since the day of the first funeral he ever attended - his own mother's. It was raining that day too, but it was bitter cold outside and he was stuck right in front of the casket surrounded by people crying and whispering and blowing their noses. It was all too much for him and he bolted in the middle of the service. His legs seemed to be out of his control as they propelled him away from the reality of burying his mother. He ended up at the other side of the cemetery, his lungs burning and heart pounding in his chest as his legs collapsed beneath him. He had long since mastered his emotions, although the desire to flee never completely left him.

He shifted his weight and pushed his custom made sunglasses up on his nose. He only wore these at certain times, primarily funerals, and had them specially made after assuring the eye doctor that he wouldn't be using them for driving. While he could still see out of them, the glasses were dark enough to narrow his peripheral vision and to mask his eyes completely. He wasn't worried about hiding his emotions or blocking the rays of the sun as most people were. He sought to shield himself from what he saw on others' faces and in their eyes. He couldn't bear to see the raw grief and emotions play out so close to the death and burial; it stirred in him too many bottled emotions that never were allowed to surface. There were times he averted his eyes or squeezed them shut behind the safety of his darkened glasses. The graveside services were the worst for him, but today wasn't quite as bad because he didn't know his fallen colleague or his family well.

The service had moved on to the testimonials and he found his attention drifting away from the service at hand to one across the field that had just ended from the looks of it. A lone figure stood under the branches of a tree, watching the empty tent and casket as people moved away and went back to their vehicles. The form looked vaguely familiar to him, which was ridiculous given the glasses and distance. He could tell it was a woman and her posture was impeccable. He felt as if he knew her somehow, yet didn't feel right approaching her at such a delicate time. She stood there motionless as some lingered in groups, probably deciding where to go for lunch or giving directions to a residence where people would gather around those left behind. His attention returned to the service he was attending and those paying their respects. He lingered to let the crowd pass, then approached the wife and offered her his hand.

"Real sorry for your loss, ma'am."

She took his hand and placed her other on it as well, encasing his hand as she studied him.

"You're the British guy he worked with right before... Lightman isn't it?"

Cal was struck by the contrast between comfort of her warm hands and the scrutiny of her eyes. It appeared that she could give him a run for his money.

"Yes, that's right."

"Thank you so much for coming. I know you didn't know each other for long, but he spoke highly of you."

"Thank you. I...I don't quite know what to say, because it's all so meaningless."

He felt her pull him into an embrace and returned it gently, trying not to convey his discomfort through his body.

"Spoken like one who's lost someone. I'm not sure why you're hiding behind those glasses, but I wish you'd let me see your hazel eyes, just for a moment."

He moved his glasses down a bit and peered at her over the top of them, his confusion evident. They gazed at one another for a few moments before he nudged them back into place.

"Wait, how did you know..."

"Just a hunch. Now, you should go over and speak to that young lady you've been watching."

He tilted his head and removed his glasses, placing them safely in his suit pocket. He studied her and the small smirk that graced her features before the sadness settled back in.

"I met her when they were setting everything up. She works at the Pentagon like you and Jack."

Her eyes turned down when she realized her mistake. He knew that it was a common mistake and didn't acknowledge it out of respect.

"You're quite a perceptive woman. It's been my pleasure to meet you, although I wish it were under better circumstances."

"Likewise, Dr. Lightman."

Cal turned around and started to meander in the direction of the woman, still at her spot under the tree. The rain had stopped for now and the sun was helping to warm him as he walked. He put his glasses back on while he decided if he should try to approach her directly or just leave her alone. His curiosity was piqued at the knowledge that she worked at the Pentagon, so he decided to find out who she was and go from there.

"The rain has stopped."

He stopped, startled by her words, then continued toward her still not sure who she was. Her perfume and voice were familiar. He cast a sideways glance at her, finally recognizing her as he stood next to her watching the staff clear the chairs away.

"Dr. Foster."

"Dr. Lightman."

Cal wasn't sure what to say, so he opted to let her be the one to say something to him first. He could tell by her body language that she wasn't uncomfortable with his presence yet. She knew him from the series of sessions he was required to have and they had lunch once since then when they ran into each other at the local Subway. He was pleasantly surprised by her when they first met. She was nothing like what he had conjured in his mind. She was young, intelligent, and confident. He knew that they were both involved with other people, but he definitely would have asked her out given the chance.

"You were at Jack's funeral? I didn't think you worked with him."

"Yeah. Well we didn't at first, but he was assigned to us for this job a few weeks ago. I thought I should come."

"That was a nice thing to do. I know how much you dislike funerals."

She finally turned and looked at him. He shrugged his shoulders at her last comment, dismissing her compliment. He watched her intently and saw the sadness and grief in her eyes, despite the glasses. He couldn't turn off his talent and he couldn't take his eyes off her.

"I don't like these..."

He flinched as she reached for his glasses, then relented, holding his breath as she reached out to him. He felt her fingers brush his skin as she removed them and placed them in his pocket. She ran her fingers down the lapels of his suit jacket and then withdrew from him.

"Sorry...I just needed to see your eyes."

He let go of the breath he was holding and put his hands in his pockets. His attraction to her became more intense every time he saw her, though he knew nothing would ever come of it. He sighed and turned back to the gravesite she was watching. They had removed all the things except for the tent and were preparing to lower the casket into the ground. The rain started up again and the sun ducked in behind some clouds.

"Laura was my best friend growing up. We went to different colleges, but kept in touch through email and the occasional trip to the city. She was killed in a car accident earlier this week."

He heard her try to hold back a sob as the casket started to move into the ground. After a moment of hesitation, he put his arm around her and felt her tense briefly before succumbing to her grief. He comforted her as best he could and let her take the lead since he had no idea how she would react. When he felt her turn into his embrace, he relaxed and gently rubbed her back to soothe her knowing that words would fail him. He was keenly aware of how well their bodies fit together and how right it felt to hold her in his arms. His heart told him that the woman in his arms was home, but his head reminded him that another woman was in his home and another man was in hers.

She pulled back from him, but she didn't have the embarrassment or shame he expected to see cross her features.

"Sometimes you just need a good, strong shoulder to cry on..."

Her words hung in the air between them and he wondered if she was referring to her situation or what he told her about his own issues with his mother's death or both.

"Thank you, Cal. Is it okay if I call you, Cal? It seems kind of weird to call you Dr. Lightman after sharing this with you. Sorry, I tend to ramble after a good cry trying to get my bearings again."

"S'alright, Dr. Fost- uh Gillian. Glad I was here for ya."

He mirrored her level of intimacy to put her at ease, since she was obviously uncomfortable after the intensity of the past few minutes. It also gave him a thrill to pass another milestone toward friendship with her, even if it had to stay platonic. If she was available, he would seriously consider leaving Zoe to pursue her. He felt more himself and at ease with her than anyone else he'd ever encountered, even as her patient. She was damn good at her job, too. He had forgotten he was supposed to be stonewalling her and ended up revealing his deepest, darkest secrets. He had never told anyone about the details surrounding his mother's death, the funeral and his inability to deal with it and yet he blabbed the whole thing to her though it had nothing to do with why he was there. If he were honest, she could be his soul mate and he'd be stupid not to fight for her. But it wasn't to be...he had Zoe and she was married to Mr. Foster, whoever the hell he was.

"We should go. She's at rest now, with the setting sun."

"How about we go get a cup of tea and a bowl of soup and warm up?"

"I really shouldn't be..."

"I've been working on that idea we talked about after our last session and I'd like to run a business proposition by you."

She brought her eyes up to meet his and he saw her unspoken question with her warm smile. He knew that he had a good chance of selling her on the idea, but wasn't sure what the mister would have to say and how much control she let him have. Content for now, he smiled back at her.

"Where are you parked, then?"

"Well, I came here with some people, but planned on getting a cab back."

He tilted his head at the captivating woman before him, gazing at her for a brief moment before offering her his crooked arm.

"Right. In that case, we've got a bit of a walk to mine. Shall we?"

He smiled when he felt her small hand on his arm as he led her to his car. Being a bit of a photography nut, he made small talk about the golden hour as they made their way to his car, avoiding the graves as much as they could. He listened intently as she spoke of the beauty of the cemetery bathed in the golden tones of the sunset and silently pondered what it meant that they both wondered why this beautiful land wasn't a park.

Cal drove to a small diner, where they would be able to talk for a while, with some classical music on softly to fill the silence. The awkwardness he was expecting never came to pass and he was quickly coming to the conclusion that he needed her around him. He had blurted out the bit about a proposition for her, which was meant to offer her some side work as a consultant if he needed her expertise at some point. Now he was thinking about having her work for him, though he couldn't really expect her to leave her job when he had nothing to offer but a job at a non-existent company based on a science he pioneered and wasn't fully accepted yet. He glanced over at her, wondering what was occupying her mind at the moment.

"Warm enough?"

He had turned up the heat a bit since they were both soaked. She was turned in on herself, so he thought it might be a chill.

"Yes, thank you. Just feeling a bit lost now, knowing that Laura is no longer a phone call away."

"That's okay if you don't want to talk about it now. We're nearly there."

He glanced at her again and caught the small smile on her face before she turned back toward the window. He was amazed at his reaction to her. It was as if he could feel her grief, like he was connected to her physically. He was dangerously close to becoming emotionally invested in her and he didn't even know her that well at all. His thoughts went back to the embrace they shared earlier in the day and how it had felt to hold her; the softness of her hair, the warmth of her body against his, the desire to protect her surging within him, and the feel of her as he moved his hands along her back and shoulders. Who the hell was he kidding anyway? He wanted Dr. Gillian Foster anyway he could bloody well have her and at the moment there were two viable options, friendship and business. The former was already progressing smartly, thanks to the random strands of fate that brought them together today. The latter he was making up as he went along. The only problem he saw at the moment he had no way of fixing and that was his attraction to her. To have her in his life in any respect would be a form of torture for him - the brass ring just out of his reach but achingly close. Could he stand to be with her on a regular basis and not pursue her sexually or romantically? He wasn't sure now that he knew what her body pressed up against his and her arms holding him tight felt like. He forced those thoughts back and focused on the present as he pulled into the parking space.

"Ready?"

"Can we talk for a minute?"

He turned toward her, wondering if he had done something wrong.

"Of course. Something wrong?"

"No, well at least I don't think there is. I'm not really sure how we ended up together today, but I appreciate you staying with me. I don't want you to feel obligated any further. I can call a cab and be on my way so I don't encroach on any more of your time. You've been more than generous."

"Nonsense, I don't mind at all. You've done a lot for me already and I'm quite happy to return the favor."

"All I did was listen and sign some paperwork."

"You did listen, but it was more than that. You cared and somehow managed to get me talking about things I've told no one, not one person before. I can't explain it, really. I was all set to stonewall the shrink and I walked in and met you. You were nothing like what I had expected. You didn't ask me the psych 101 questions, you weren't overly antagonistic, and you weren't intimidated by me. Next thing I know, I'm babbling all my secrets. You didn't slip me a truth serum, did you?"

"I'll never tell. I appreciated your candor then and I appreciate it now. I know a lot of people, but I don't have a lot of true friends. I have trust issues of my own and try to surround myself with people who won't tell me what they think I _want _to hear. Your candor in our sessions was one of the things I liked about you. Although, this is new territory for me as I don't usually see patients, current or former, outside of work."

"Breakin' the rules already? Better watch out, Dr. Foster, I might be a bad influence."

"I'll take my chances."

They both laughed and exited the car. She went to the restroom and he asked the waitress for a booth in the corner and 2 hot teas and a coffee, not knowing which she would prefer. He turned sideways in the booth and propped his leg up on the bench seat as he waited for her to return. He fidgeted with the wrapped silverware and let his mind drift back to holding her. It really wasn't right for him to be comparing her to Zoe, much less entertaining such thoughts about another woman, but he couldn't help it at the moment. He had it bad for her and would be playing with fire if he kept her around as a friend and possible business associate. He knew that he should have just taken her home, but what fun was life without taking a few risks?

He heard her slide into the booth across from him and watched as she picked up the menu.

"I ordered a tea for me and a tea and coffee for you. Didn't know which you would prefer."

"I prefer tea in the afternoons, though I'm not really sure why. Thanks."

"No problem."

They sat in silence while the waitress returned with the drinks and took their order. She was sitting with her impeccable posture and hands in her lap, which made him wonder if she was nervous.

"Are you nervous about something?"

"No, why do you ask?"

"Your posture. Back straight and hands in your lap to keep from fidgeting. Private school?"

"Not quite. My mother was a stickler about appearances since my Dad entertained important people in our house and was a local public figure. The habit stuck with me, especially when in public."

"Right."

"How are things coming with the new science you've been working on? I've read the latest article you've published."

"It's been working out brilliantly, but we need to move into the next phase."

"Yes, you mentioned that you wanted to do field research but would have trouble balancing your job at the Pentagon with the extra time the pursuit of scientific glory would entail, if I remember your words correctly."

He smiled at her and sat back while the waitress placed their food on the table. He studied her as she prepared to eat, with the same proper manners she had told him were a habit. It made him want to flick some food at her just to see how she would react if her perfect clothes were soiled or a bit of food got on her face.

"You do. That's why I've been searching for a way to do both and I think I found it. I've been talking with a buddy of mine in the FBI and he thinks that my science could be a great help to them, so I was thinking of opening my own business and contracting services out to the FBI. They catch their crooks with my help, small fee required, and I get my real world field research with the credibility of the FBI behind it."

"That's a great idea, Cal. Does he think the FBI will go for it?"

"We're fairly certain...his boss is a total wanker, but the higher ups seem to like the idea, especially if it puts more bad guys away."

"When will you find out anything?"

"Soon I hope. It has gone through the committee so I should have an answer within the next week or so. That's why I wanted to talk to you."

"Okaaaay."

He saw the question in her eyes and knew that she was wondering what all this had to do with her. Lucky for him she didn't voice the question as he had no idea what he was doing and was just winging it at this point. Wanting to get a rise out of her, he shoved a big chunk of meat in his mouth and started talking.

"You see, I have read your journal articles as well, and..."

He stopped midsentence when she started laughing at him. She reached out with her napkin to wipe the sauce from his face and he suddenly remembered that he needed to swallow.

"What are you on about?"

"Are you five years old? Do you really think rolling that half masticated steak around in your mouth is going to offend me? It will take more than that to get a rise out of me."

"Maybe I just like to eat like a cave man."

"Maybe you _are _a cave man."

"You'll know if I throw you over my shoulder and start grunting and beating my chest when we leave."

They both laughed at the turn their discussion had taken then resumed their meals after an awkward moment.

"Seriously though, I think that your research could be an asset to the development of the science. So how 'bout it?"

"What exactly are you proposing?"

The confusion on her face was evident and he really didn't spell it out for her, but he wanted her to work _with _him not for him.

"What I'm asking, Gillian, is this: Will you team up with me and help me get this business and science off the ground? Fifty, fifty. You and me. Partners."

She was the perfect model for surprise at that moment and all at once he felt his heart leap into his throat, his stomach flip and an incredible wave of nervous energy. He had basically just asked her to marry him professionally and invest herself, her time and resources into this new science.

"Cal, I don't quite know what to say. Are you sure? I'm sensing that you are flying by the seat of your pants with this idea."

"What makes you think that?"

"A couple of things, but mainly it's a hunch."

"You're dangerously close to deflecting. What ya think? You willing to consider it or is it out of the question?"

"I'd like to see some concrete plans and goals, a clearly defined financial prospectus and a partnership contract, but yes I am definitely interested."

He saw the sincerity of her words reflected on her face and felt almost giddy at the thought of getting to know her better. He had a working proposal done for the committee presentation, but now had a lot more work to do if he was going to convince the woman before him. While politicians dealt in concepts and guesstimates, it was now clear to him that the broad generalities, smoke and mirrors wouldn't cut it for her. She had a reputation unmatched at the Pentagon in her field for equal measures of compassion and intellect, which is how he ended up as her patient. He had seen every other psychologist on staff and had either offended or completely stonewalled all 25 of them over the years. She was the first and last shrink that he would talk to or respect.

He flagged down the waitress for the check. He turned sideways in the booth again and watched her watching him. It seemed like they knew each other for years and there was so much he didn't know about her. Did she have children? He supposed not by the lack of pictures in the office, but he couldn't be sure because of some of the unsavory characters that must go through her office. She could merely be protecting her family and herself by not giving the patients ammunition; he certainly would have used it. Was she happily married? Did she twirl her hair while reading a book? What made her smile? How did she like her coffee? Was she a vegetarian or did she take the vegetable soup because she likes it better than chicken noodle? The gorgeous woman was an enigma and he planned to spend the next few years finding out everything he could while waiting for the cosmic strands of fate that brought them together to separate them or clear the path. She stole his heart and he would do his damnedest to steal hers.

"Shall we?"

He stood up and offered his hand to her.

"Yes, thanks."

He walked out of the diner with Gillian on his arm and a smile on his face. Suddenly the future before him looked better than the past behind and he had hope for the first time in a long time. He finally had someone in his corner that he would be able to trust and it turned out to be his shrink. Fate certainly had a sense of irony.

TBC


	2. Ch 2: CrossRoads

AN: This story came back to mind and a plot bunny appeared, so I chased it down and here we are at chapter 2. This should only be a couple more chapters, but I wanted to explore the relationship between Gillian and Cal in the early days. In this, they are both married to the future ex-spouses Zoe and Alec, but it is pre-Emily. This story is now AU since I made up some stuff to fill in the gaps since I can't remember what was in the show. It's more fun that way!

Thanks for reading…hope you enjoy!

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Ch 2: CrossRoads

Cal was lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling as he reflected on the chance meeting he had with Gillian Foster two weeks ago. His mind wandered through the landscape of that day with her, beginning with when he first saw her standing in the rain. How he was drawn to her. How she knew of his approach, yet trusted him enough to keep her back to him. The warmth of her body as she allowed him to hold her and comfort her in such an intimate position; bodies pressed together as she wept. It was a mystery to him how she opened herself to him, even in light of her self-proclaimed trust issues. Equally unusual was the way that he allowed her into his own personal space.

Always one to encroach on other people's comfort zone, he rarely let people invade his own. Yet he stood there and within seconds she had removed his glasses and run her hands down the lapels of his jacket. Within minutes he embraced her from the side, then full on as she turned into him and let her guard down completely. He'll never forget how it felt to hold her in his arms, feel the contours of her back and the way she put her hands inside his jacket to hold him. He grinned as he remembered trying to get a rise out of her with bad table manners, which completely backfired. He was the one who got flustered when she wiped the sauce off his face. He was a gentleman, but never walked arm in arm with anyone, preferring to hold hands so he can disengage at will. Twice that day he had Gillian on his arm and couldn't figure why he even offered it to her.

He let his mind wander to the drive to her house.

~*~*~*~*flashback~*~*~*~*

_It had started to rain again as he and Gillian left the diner. He unlocked the car and opened the door for her, before rushing to get in out of the rain himself. They weren't too wet this time as it was a short walk, but he made sure the heat was still on for the drive to her house._

"_Where to, Gillian?"_

_She gave him the address and he was familiar with that part of town, so he set out on the scenic route to give them just a bit more time together. He smiled at her and returned his focus to the road, letting the soft strands of the music filling the car calm him. He felt her take his hand from the gear shift and squeeze it for a moment, but she didn't let go. He glanced at her briefly, wondering if she would recognize the unspoken question on his face._

"_Just wanted to let you know how much today means to me, Cal. I feel like we've known each other for years, instead of a few short weeks. You were there to comfort me and cheer me up on one of the worst days of my life. I'm grateful for everything you've done and hope that I can one day return the friendship you have shown."_

_He saw her look down at their hands and watched as a frown settled upon her face. She removed her hand from his, letting her fingertips trail along his skin before losing contact._

"_I'm sorry, Cal."_

_Her actions confused him and he wondered if she would explain._

"_For being so touchy-feely. I don't normally do that with acquaintances, but as I said before, I feel as if we are already friends."_

_He pulled the car over into a parking lot and turned toward her again. So far, she was always open with her emotions around him, even after all she learned about what he sees._

"_What makes you think that you need to apologize for that?"_

"_You flinched and held your breath when I took your glasses off, you tensed up when I turned into you and a couple other things. It's obvious you are either uncomfortable with people in general touching you or perhaps it's just me. It's a part of who I am, but I'll make sure to try and keep from doing it too much."_

_She gave him a small smile and glanced down at her own hands, unable or unwilling to meet his gaze. He was surprised by the accuracy of her perceptions and how observant she was, but he shouldn't be. Both of those traits helped her in her field and will be invaluable if she came to work with him. When. When she would become his partner._

"_Gillian…"_

_He waited for her to look at him and when she didn't, he put his fingers under her chin to persuade her to look at him._

"_You've got naught to apologize for. No, I don't really let many people in my personal space like that, but nothing you did today felt bad. Different, but in a good way."_

_He paused to look at her, watching the emotions dance across her face. It's been a long time since someone was so open with him once they knew what he could see. That was one of the things she did without him asking her to and it was how she gained his trust so early on in their relationship._

"_I want you to be comfortable around me, Gillian. I don't want you to feel you have to change who you are when you are with me. As you said, we've known each other a short time, but I trust you. You know things about me no one else does and I already consider you a friend."_

_He took her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze as the car was too cramped to give her a hug._

"_Thanks, Cal. That means a lot."_

_He smiled back at her, then put the car in gear and continued the journey to her home. When he pulled up in the driveway, he pulled out his phone and asked her for her number so that he could call her about the business plans and contracts. They exchanged numbers; she thanked him again and got out of the car. He watched her as she walked down driveway only to stop and turn toward him, her eyes locked on his. He wasn't ready to leave and apparently she wasn't ready to go into her home. Unsure of what the right thing to do in this situation, he tried to make himself drive away, but found himself getting out of the car and walking to where she stood instead._

"_Listen, Gillian. I'm truly sorry about your friend Laura. I certainly can't replace her, but if you ever need anything or just want to talk, give me a call."_

_He saw her eyes tear up and she moved into his embrace once again. He barely heard her words, but he would never forget them._

"_Laura once told me that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. For us it was cut short, but I hope that you and I are slated to be friends for a lifetime. Everything just feels natural with you, just the way it did with Laura and I."_

"_Me too, love. Call me if you need anything and I'll be in touch about the formal stuff."_

"_Thanks again, Cal."_

_He smiled as he felt her hold him a little tighter before letting go and turning toward her home. He put his hands in his pockets as he waited for her to safely enter the house. Once she was inside, he went back to his car and set a course for his own house. What should've been a fifteen minute drive turned into an hour and a half as he drove around, not wanting to return home while he was so preoccupied with Gillian._

_~*~*~*~*flashback end~*~*~*~*_

Cal had been impressed by her abilities in perception and observation. Those talents would balance his skills at reading facial expressions and finding the lies people tell. He had been working relentlessly on getting the business proposal and prospectus to where it needed to be for Gillian. She was an intelligent woman and he knew that his normal mode of bullying and bullshit wouldn't get him anywhere with her. That was evident from their first meeting, which also happened to be his first session with her.

The first session he had with her was to be a chess match of sorts between them. He would open with being late and irreverent and she would have to throw him out shortly after for her next appointment. His agenda went right out the window as he laid eyes on her for the first time. Everything stopped for a moment in time when her eyes found his. He was not a romantic by any stretch of the imagination, but it was as if she had awakened something in the depths of his soul. Completely thrown off balance by this, he flopped in the chair she motioned to and listened while she spoke to him.

Rather than drown him in psychobabble, she quietly introduced herself and gave him a brief history of her schooling and journey that led her to the pentagon. What surprised him even more was that she continued on by engaging him in conversation about his science. He could tell by her questions that she didn't merely scan the most recent journal article he published, but she had probably read most if not all of his writings thus far. Intrigued by her interest and curiosity, he sat up and became animated as he answered her questions. They kept on in this manner and he reciprocated her earlier introduction by sharing where he went to school and how he ended up at the Pentagon. He even went so far as to tell her why he ended up in her office before he realized how much he shared with her. When he finally noticed that the sun was setting and hours had passed by, he actually apologized to her.

He remembered the hint of embarrassment on her face as she told him that she cleared her schedule in hopes of talking to him about his work, never expecting to make it that far with him after she heard the many stories from her colleagues. He was stunned by her admission and asked her what she had expected. He'll never forget the words she said to him. "I never expected you to take me seriously." It saddened him that she would think of herself that way and it bothered him even more that he fully intended to make that fear come true. Instead of confronting her, he settled for exchanging pleasantries and made a silent vow that he would never make her feel as if he didn't respect her.

Even as he reflected on his first session with her, he marveled at how she was able to disarm him and then completely engage him in what she wanted to talk about. Even more impressive was how she didn't use any manipulation or tricks to get him to open up to her. Her magic was her sincerity and genuine interest in her patient. It was obvious that she did her research on him, but didn't limit it to the negative anecdotes of the so-called doctors he cycled through. She read about his science. She was familiar with his file – who he worked with, his job and education history, and the few vague personal details that were dots on his timeline. What she did was like archaeology of the mind; using her knowledge of the person to brush away the debris and find the long buried bones and artifacts from their life.

It was his reckless behavior that landed him in hot water and his constant repetition of that behavior that cycled him through all the Pentagon shrinks save one. The final ultimatum came in the form of bullet wounds; 4 total in 3 members of his team when the job went wrong thanks to his screw up. That is what landed him in the office of Dr. Gillian Foster. She was his last chance to salvage his reputation and his career. What she wrote in her final report would change the course of his life, yet she never used it against him. In fact, the only time she ever mentioned it was to apologize for delaying the final report by taking up so much of his time in the first session. He spent six more weeks with her after their initial meeting; two 3 hour sessions per week at his request. The first two hours were to be spent focused on him and the remainder of the time he offered teach her more about his fledgling science and answer any questions she had. She put up an argument at the outset, but finally gave in when her desire to learn outweighed her sense of propriety.

When he made the offer, he never intended for it to be anything other than a friendly gesture to help negate the impression that he didn't take her seriously. Although his initial intentions were to discard her as he had the others, he thought he would be able to make up for this by giving her a small portion of his time. He knew that could apologize until he was blue in the face and it wouldn't matter to her, so he decided to show her that he did take her seriously, that he did respect her profession (only her mind you) and that he thought of her in the highest regard. The extra hour wasn't a burden to him as he was given the time off work without question, since he was actually cooperating for a change.

The first transition into 'Gillian's hour', as he had taken to calling it, was a little awkward. Neither of them knew quite how to go from the dark to the light, so to speak. Finally, he just stood up, let loose a string of proper British cursing and watched her with amusement as she laughed at his antics. With the tension dispelled, he started up his laptop and began to quiz her on the expressions being shown in the group of photos. He eventually wanted this to be worked into a training program, but he wasn't that far along yet. The next transition into 'Gillian's hour' wasn't difficult at all. When he heard her stomach growl for the third time, he offered to buy Thai, so he wouldn't "have to hear that infernal racket". She ordered for them and tried to suppress her amusement at his insistence of not eating unrecognizable meat. That is when the hour turned into two and sometimes three. Her appetite for his science seemed insatiable and it was easy to fill the time teaching her about his passion.

Throughout the remainder of the sessions they spent together, Cal's respect and admiration for her grew tenfold. He found that he enjoyed her company and looked forward to their time together – not just the time he spent teaching her, but all of it. She delved into his psyche, but never made him feel as if he wasn't in control of what he revealed. She challenged him to trust her, but never used her position to force him. She encouraged him to talk to her, but never made him feel that it was just a job. She never held a notepad or had a tape recorder present, but told him up front that she did make notes on their sessions after he left. He questioned her on her accuracy and to her credit, she showed him her notes from the first session. He was amazed at what he read. There were no judgments, no discrepancies, no inaccuracies and no embellishments. Only a thorough, accurate account of all they had discussed. He questioned her on whether or not she had surveillance in the room. She acknowledged that she did, but felt that it wouldn't help her case if the scientist became the subject, so she didn't use it even though he had already signed a waiver that granted permission. She had earned his respect and his trust. By the third week, he had decided that he would tell her nearly everything and let her dig up as many of the bones from the skeletons of his past as she could.

He was at a crossroads in his life and maybe fate had put her in his path to help him along. He had never trusted anyone as much as he did her and he marveled at the fact he had only known her for hours really. He never believed in the idea of a soul mate or kindred spirit, but meeting Gillian has forced him to reconsider. Cal thought long and hard about his life, his work, his science and his future before his fifth session with Gillian and he decided that in order for him to make a go at his passion, the science of microexpressions, he would have to face and shed most of his demons and change his cavalier existence. If he was going to make a difference in the world, he would have to change and Gillian seemed like the perfect one to help him.

When he walked into her office that day, he told her what he wanted to do. She cautioned him that it might take longer than the time allotted by the powers that be and let him know that she was willing see him beyond the contractual agreement if it was necessary. He saw she was holding back something and questioned her on it. He remembered what she said word for word.

"Cal, if you are serious about this, I have to tell you that it won't be easy and the repercussions could mean short term or long term sessions to deal with things. Everyone is different, so I don't have a firm answer on what happens when we start dealing with your demons as you call them. I do know that there is one that you have buried and hidden away that you haven't mentioned. I don't know the specifics and figure that you would leave that out of the mix, which is your choice. You'll have a difficult time moving forward in a new direction with the weight of that buried secret holding you back."

He studied her and her gaze never faltered under her scrutiny. She was being completely honest with him and left herself open because she knew that's what he needed. The depth of her compassion stole his breath away and he excused himself to go to the restroom. He didn't understand how she could know. He never told her about his Mum and her suicide, but talked in general about her so she wouldn't pick up on his avoidance as a red flag. If he asked her about it, he knew that she would prod him on it. If he didn't, it would drive him crazy eventually. He had no idea how she gauged that he was hiding only one and that it was significant enough to hold him back. He decided not to ask her right away and see where things led. Turned out that everything led to his Mum and that session was the one that changed it all.

TBC.


End file.
